Not ready for prime time

After 2 rehab sessions, my ankle pain has become a lot worse, pain-wise at least. Last night (Tuesday), I went out to run and was unable go 3 minutes before I had to turn around and pack it in. So, instead of enduring another rehab session this morning, I had a heart-to-heart with the docs at Koala and they seem to think that I may not be ready to rehab. So, were going to do some more passive work and get those stablilizing muscles up to par. They're really in bad shape. Standing on a wobble board, my leg just shakes and I can barely stay up for more than a few seconds without having to brace myself against the wall. So, that's the plan...to get the horse back in front of the cart.

Unfortunately, I missed PIM (Power in Motion) tonight. I don't know who I'm kidding even going at all. At this pace, I'm certainly not even going to be able to walk a 5K by Nov. By the way, Run With the Saints 5K has a cool new logo this year that looks really nice on their new home page. I signed up for PIM, thinking I would be much further along by now. Still, I so enjoy being at the park and feel the need to be around it (running that is). Missed seeing Cassie and Rose, Sandy, Amalia, Rachel, Doug, Steve, Jack, and all the other really cool people. I hope to be a little better off next week and maybe able to do a walk.

Regarding diet, I'm struggling to find my way there, as well. Of course, if one saw me in person, one must know that my first priority must be to lose a bunch of weight. I lost about 65 lbs. last fall/winter. Since my surgery in May, I've gained about 30 of that back. I don't want to dwell on that or I'll get too mad at myself. I just need to move on and that's what I'm doing. I'm just at a strange place now, trying to figure out a good, healty approach to nutrition and still be effective at weight loss. Most of the weight I lost last year was on a no carb/low carb diet. Readers may now want to chime in and tell me how awful low carb diets are, especially for runners, and how it's not a viable, maintainable, lifelong plan for good nutrition. Let me say that I know all this is sooooooo true. However, I can't bring myself to dismiss the low carb diets completely, just because of my experience. I lost the weight. I felt GREAT!!!! My fitness improved. I was able to run without bonking at all (although my long runs were only up to 9.5 miles). However, that all being said, I do not want to do the low carb thing anymore. I want to work on really developing a total plan for nutrition that I can keep for a lifetime... one that includes the right balance of foods, the right kind of healthy carbs and healthy fats and good protein. I've learned a lot about nutrition and physiology over this past year but know I've only scratched the surface and have much more to learn.

So for the past month or so, I've been 'winging it', just trying to eat what I think is healthy, and trying to cut back. I've been unable to lose any weight as I do well for a couple of days, then Jan will bring home pizza or I fail to eat for 12 hours and then gorge because I'm so hungry or yada, yada, yada. My problem at this point is that I need some kind of structure while I'm transitioning to this better lifestyle that I hope one day will just become second nature. I've looked at a lot of diets (I hate that word). I need one that's flexible, easy to follow, and doesn't take a lot of time to prepare just certain foods. Flexibility is the main thing. I've heard so many good things about Weight Watchers so I joined online yesterday. It's kind of funny because after paying my money and reading about the diet, it's just a common sense, healthy diet. No magic forumlas. No tricky pills or drastic measures. Just basically lean meats, whole grains, fruits and vegetables, good oils, eat till you're satisfied then stop, and every once in a while, indulge a little, just keep it in moderation. Guess I didn't need to pay $65.00 to be told that. Still, it's a good thing. Now that I've dished out the moola, I'm more apt to follow the plan. I know that the structure is going to help me immensely and get me to where I want to be. I'll probably be posting my meals on the blog here for my own benefit, just as a record of what I've been eating, what works, and what doesn't.

Well, I guess with all this bad news (pain being back, rehab being postponed, unable to lose weight, can't run, can't bike, now $65.00 poorer), I should be depressed. Strangely enough, I'm anything but depressed. I'm enjoying this journey. I'm learning a lot about myself and I know that these ups and downs are only going to make me a better runner and dieter and father and husband and employee and mentor. As so many have encouraged me and set the example, I hope to one day help others who are right where I've been. That's what it's all about, I think.