Thursday, November 15, 2007

Note to self

"...whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus..."

The Message says, "...let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way."

To the point, I've come to the realization that this verse does not mean that I have to work and work and work and work at a job and work and work and work at a job until it totally consumes me. Surely God doesn't want us, eh, ME to sacrifice my family, my fitness, my health, even my church for the sake of "doing a good job." Well for the past 2 or 3 months, that's exactly what I've done.

On the way home from another 13 hour day... That's right! on the way home and not on the way to Terry Hershey park... I called DW and told her that I was giving up the Houston Marathon. I told her that I just couldn't do what it takes. I tried as best I could to explain that marathon training (for me at least) wasn't just about getting in the runs. It's about preparing mentally, being well rested, eating right, planning your meals, camaraderie, family support, and a concentrated consistency week after week, right up until race day. I told her that I just can't do that right now with this project we are doing at work. I'm working 12 hours a day, bringing work home after work and on the weekends. When I'm not working, I'm worrying about not working and how I'm going to get everything done I have to get done. I'm thinking about deadlines, who I'm going to let down, how I'm going to get more organized, how I need to be doing this and that instead of working... I think my desire to do a good job has evolved into something else. Something not good.

DW has been telling me for weeks that it's not worth it, how in 10 years I'm going to look back and not remember how many hours I put in at work this week or how I helped meet a deadline or how we met budget. I'm going to remember things like my son's last freshman football game, the year we invited 30+ people over to our house for Thanksgiving, the first time I went sub-6 for a marathon, soccer games, the first year DW coached a neighborhood basketball team, and the good times I had with my friends and family. I think tonight I finally heard her.

Note to self, "Would it be too much trouble if I had my life back please?" I hereby reclaim my life. I can do a lot in 8, 9, 10 hours at work. I can do a good job. I can do my job "as unto the Lord." But my job is not my life any more than running is my life. My life is my life and there are important things that need to be tended to and experienced. My health, my goals, my children, my church. so, I hereby reclaim my life, not for myself alone but for Him.

Now, down to business. Here's my situation. There are 59 days left to Houston. I haven't run in about 10 days. My last long run was weekend before last and it was a strong 15 miles, no problem. I'm up about 6 pounds from my low mark at the Fired up 5K. I feel good. I'm staring at about a 16-17 miler on Saturday. I'm looking at doing an easy 3 or 4 miler in the morning. Yes, it's the day before my long run but I think I need to shake out a few cobwebs before Saturday. I'm still confident after my half marathon race just a few weeks ago. No doubt I've lost some fitness but I think Houston is salvageable.

Daily updates to follow. Wish me luck. Oh, and one more note to self...Thanks!


Humble Runner said...

uhhhh.... wow!!!

Probably one of the most insightful posts I've read in a long, long time. Thanks.

I went through similar stuff at work as well. Actually, I thought I needed TWO jobs to obtain the things we ‘needed’. It took a few years, but I realized the only thing I needed is love, food, and shelter. Looking back, I see I was merely FEEDING THE BEAST THAT WANTED ME GONE.

Vic, you inspire me. Now, lets git ur done!

Pony and Petey said...

I wish you could have been there for the conversation with Dr. Jack on the way to the airport yesterday morning.

He's the national head coach for Team in Training so that got us talking about "common" people doing marathons and what kind of training they really need to do... how much or how little.

I was really suprised at his viewpoint, seeing as how he coaches Olympians. Amazing to hear how much he understands us commoners!

So I say GO FOR IT!! Plenty of time left...a solid 15 mile run is great...good confidence booster. Get back on track with your for the pleasure whether it's 3 miles or 10 miles.

Thanks for the reality check, Dude... just what I needed to hear today!!

Steeeve said...

Vic's back! It took you years to achieve the level of aerobic fitness you have, and it does not vanish "just like that". You are still well on track for Houston in January, tremendous that you've had a reset on your priorities that will allow you to see it through.

Tiggs said...

Vic- I don't blog about work at all- not even vaguely- so I haven't posted anything about my situation, but you have captured it perfectly. There comes a point where to have to say enough is enough. It's hard. I wish you luck!

jamoosh said...

Vic,you don't need luck. You have perseverence! You will finish the Houston Marathon again and we will all be proud of you.